It's Christmas and I'm sick lying on the couch shivering with the flu. It's well over 30 degrees and with winter pyjamas and a jumper I've stopped shivering. I hate the flu. Maybe I just can't toughen up like everyone else. Cold and flu medication also fucks with my antidepressant medication. Now I'm under a blanket as well. Right now I hate myself and i'm crying a little. But I feel like I've had a small moment of clarity. I'm nervous about the prac I have to do for uni. I feel so under prepared it's insane. Often people have told me I could do anything I put my mind to. I'd actually feel better about myself if they told me I had very limited skills and abilities and I should see getting out of bed and make lunch for the kids as a great achievement. My moment of clarity? I think I need to do a shit job that I am brilliant at and not brilliant job that I am shit at.
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